[IC] Avestia's holorecordings

[Joslae]

The holorecording sprung to life, and how the sight had changed. It had returned to the previous surroundings, showing the many archives of the Qimtash estate. The light had been dimmed to a gentle white, illuminating the unending rain which could be seen through the window behind the Acolyte.

As the surroundings, Avestia had changed too. The usually so meticulously cared for hair of the noble was hanging loosely and seemed dirty. Dark and grey lines were obvious under her eyes. The eyes that stared into the recording were tired, exasperated ones. Between this recording and the previous one with video, it seemed that Avestia had aged and matured against her will.

“I’ve read reports. Reports of those going insane, the ones who are described as ruined mentally. Some talked about the walls closing in on them, before the descent into madness started. While I feel as if I am losing my mind, it isn’t quite the same as that. Instead of the walls closing in, the walls have crumbled on top of me.

Whatever foundation I had in the past, it has faded. I feel this gaping emptiness inside, and it’s just all so very tiring. I know many would call this impatience, but I need -something- to distract me at this moment or I know it will all come crashing down. I cannot show myself to my peers like this, let alone my superiors, lest I wish to destroy my image and get myself killed.

I need to find something I can continue with, as at this moment I seem to be walking in circles and stagnating. I do not know in what form this will come with, but sadly I must also be realistic and admit that it is unlikely to show up if I decide to spend all my time in our archives, reading and drinking.”

Unlike previously she seemed to be bitter through and through, as if something was tearing at her on the inside. This bitterness had creeped into her words and she made no futile attempt to hide it, placing her hand around the glass and delicately nursing the alcohol.

“Apprentice Tashha..due to recent events I am unsure if I want to continue striving to be your student. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside me speaking. The next morrow I might wake up and this current view will have changed, at this point I am honestly unsure of anything.

This life turns out to be so much more draining than I expected, and it isn’t only because of the relation to other Sith. It is the lack of connection to other Sith, rather. Every move needs to be planned and thought out, and my mind is currently filled with everything but finding a way on how not to slip up.”

She sipped at the glass again, before shrugging to the recording and lowering the glass. A faint, tired smile had formed on her lips.

“Perhaps this is the life I was meant to be born into, yet due to my own lack of initiative I have never grown into it properly. Thus, I will do as all do, adapt and survive. Find a master who is willing to assist me in my growth while I serve them. Two seem to be remaining for such position. Lord Saud and Apprentice Tashha.

There is a chance this is my last recording, time will tell. Dark side serve.”

Raising the glass she turned the recording off with a crackle and a click, the image fading once more.