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19-04-2023, 08:07 AM
(This post was last modified: 19-04-2023, 08:07 AM by Rhysand Sekker.)
Entry 17: Failure
I failed. I was a fool. I hate myself. Did I really think that would work; to ambush him within the Horuset Estate itself in broad daylight? The worst part is, yes, I did. I fully expected it to work. IT WORKED FOR TEMEKEL.
TEMEKEL TEMEKEL TEMEKEL
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
I WAS A FOOL. A RABID FUCKING DOG. I WAS A DIMWITTED, FUCKING IDIOT. AND IN DOING SO, I HAVE ENDANGERED NOT ONLY MY POSITION BUT ALSO THAT OF JOSLAE.
I’m honestly surprised Lord Kalkoran let me live. I suppose I still hold some use to him. I wonder if I should end it myself, or if he or Zotam will reach me first.
What a failure have I become. What a fool I have always been. Darth Horuset was right. I am a series of stupid mistakes that is unworthy of Her bloodline. Would it be better if Zotam took my place? Maybe Lord Kalkoran’s interference was a sign.
The next few paragraphs are illegible; with crossed-out sentences and ugly writing. What is legible is pure delirium; half-finished sentences and clearly the writings of a madman. It is like someone has taken a dagger to the book and sent it to work on only this single entry.
You’re a fool sometimes, Valeus. But you’re not useless. Lord Kalkoran keeps you around. He could have killed you, on the Balcony, and you would not have resisted. He could have, but he didn’t. Does that not prove that you have value to him? That you’re of use to him if nothing else? You’re a member of the Conservancy, a Household Sith of the Horuset Powerbase. You’re married to possibly the most beautiful woman in the powerbase. If that does not indicate that you are a rising sun still, nothing does. You are a phoenix, Valeus. And phoenixes die and are reborn. A phoenix is immortal. Be immortal. Take this hurdle for what it is, a hurdle. And, next time, overcome it.
Yes. That is what I will do. I will persevere; I have died politically with this misstep, and I will be reborn greater and more beautiful still.
I will never waver. I will never relent.
— From the journal of Sith Tarimra, Valeus Horuset
I failed. I was a fool. I hate myself. Did I really think that would work; to ambush him within the Horuset Estate itself in broad daylight? The worst part is, yes, I did. I fully expected it to work. IT WORKED FOR TEMEKEL.
TEMEKEL TEMEKEL TEMEKEL
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
I WAS A FOOL. A RABID FUCKING DOG. I WAS A DIMWITTED, FUCKING IDIOT. AND IN DOING SO, I HAVE ENDANGERED NOT ONLY MY POSITION BUT ALSO THAT OF JOSLAE.
I’m honestly surprised Lord Kalkoran let me live. I suppose I still hold some use to him. I wonder if I should end it myself, or if he or Zotam will reach me first.
What a failure have I become. What a fool I have always been. Darth Horuset was right. I am a series of stupid mistakes that is unworthy of Her bloodline. Would it be better if Zotam took my place? Maybe Lord Kalkoran’s interference was a sign.
The next few paragraphs are illegible; with crossed-out sentences and ugly writing. What is legible is pure delirium; half-finished sentences and clearly the writings of a madman. It is like someone has taken a dagger to the book and sent it to work on only this single entry.
You’re a fool sometimes, Valeus. But you’re not useless. Lord Kalkoran keeps you around. He could have killed you, on the Balcony, and you would not have resisted. He could have, but he didn’t. Does that not prove that you have value to him? That you’re of use to him if nothing else? You’re a member of the Conservancy, a Household Sith of the Horuset Powerbase. You’re married to possibly the most beautiful woman in the powerbase. If that does not indicate that you are a rising sun still, nothing does. You are a phoenix, Valeus. And phoenixes die and are reborn. A phoenix is immortal. Be immortal. Take this hurdle for what it is, a hurdle. And, next time, overcome it.
Yes. That is what I will do. I will persevere; I have died politically with this misstep, and I will be reborn greater and more beautiful still.
I will never waver. I will never relent.
— From the journal of Sith Tarimra, Valeus Horuset
