"Tave iyutrekyr iv Zia"

[Caffeline]

An old-style flimsi book wrapped in leather and secured with an old but serviceable genetic lock. Kaasian make, but the writing inside seems nonsensical; at least until a key is discovered on the inside cover.

I stumbled across Ri Satwas as they were training. I slipped, and got blasted with barrages of lightning for my presence. If I had not received a holocom summons... they likely would have killed me.

I can still feel my bones smoking.

Why did I have to look? 

If only it were possible to avoid them entirely from now on. I doubt they would permit me to even try and earn back their attention.

...

Ri Cûccusuti told me that my fighting style is barely more than trickery.. and I got smeared across the flagstones in front of an audience. Why is there always an audience?

...

I was finally summoned to witness Ri Tutai's project; a display of power and skill in their craft. Utterly astonishing. Sorcery is terrifying to behold and be victim to, but Alchemy holds a symphonic dread all of its own.

To see a natural predator, a dragon snake, be changed from the cells up so completely - I watched as new legs were sculpted from its own flesh through the manipulation of the Dark Side of the Force. Thousands of years of Evolution in a relative eye blink.

I cannot choose both...perhaps dabbling in one can support a deeper study of the other? I have noticed that sorcerous practitioners tend to wield amulets on their person, and amulets are of inorganic alchemy.

...

Ri Doti Wo walked by as I was trying to vent productively, punching a tree to get used to the unarmed fighting movements. They goaded me into blurting out far more than I intended. I couldn't stop the tears.

Crying in front of another person. What am I doing. I even admitted one of my greatest fears. To their credit, they did not laugh at me.

I was not expecting the gentleness. I'm never sure what to make of it, or them, anymore. I suppose I needed the pep talk; I had better not need one again.

~Fight not to fail

Not to fall

Or you'll end up like the others~

I must use my fear as fuel, rather than let it overwhelm. It is potent, if I can just master it and myself..

Mastering myself would be easy if I could just stop these damn dreams. If I didn't know the spice-heads were lunatics, I'd consider wrapping my head in foil to prevent the others from reading my mind, as their babbling so frequently recommends..

...

I miss tea. I miss it so much. No doubt I will be summoned back to the Rhûine house soon; perhaps I should snag some teabags when I leave. As long as I hide them well and do not take them into the estate, I should be able to take hot water from the cantina and find a quiet place.

Teabags. And my needle set. I remember how to kill with a needle.

I might even be able to tailor these robes properly.