"Tave iyutrekyr iv Zia"

[Caffeline]

An old-style flimsi book wrapped in leather and secured with an old but serviceable genetic lock. Kaasian make, but the writing inside seems nonsensical; at least until a key is discovered on the inside cover.

It turns out that I'm sith-blooded. I'd be almost elated if I didn't know -exactly- where it came from. Now I just feel more tainted. 

...

I challenged the Enzurmerse today. I'd like to think that I gave her a tough fight, but aside from cracking her ribs I don't think I inflicted much damage at all.

She, of course, sliced my hand open from the inside out, and eventually slashed my stomach open to let me bleed out on the floor. I don't remember anything after that; I was told Ri Cûccusuti stabilised me only to offer my death at the Enzurmerse's hands.

I almost died, but I did not lose limbs or extremities. I didn't realise that the blade would bestow such an advantage just by itself.

It could've gone a lot better. But it also could have been worse.

At least I don't seem to have lost too much favour from my defeat. Neither Ri Doti Wo nor Ri Tutai seemed bothered by my loss - only demanding that I did not waste the learning opportunity.

...

Ri Satwas had me research locations for some vision they had written down. Why they had to throw the datapad at my head, I don't know. I suppose I'll find out if my results are worth anything; they told me to await summons to this planet in some backwater sector near the Republic border.

So much for avoiding them after they half-cooked me alive.

As long as I don't kriff up, I may even make it back alive with a boost in their eerie eyes.

Maybe they'll consider teaching me again, if I do? 

...

I thought I'd made some progress in improving how the Corporal thought of me, when I was asking questions about the various grenade types. He seemed happy to explain, and looked as though he enjoyed demonstrating the smoke bomb. Naturally I then kriffed it up by actively interrupting and interfering with some combat drill his squad was doing. I was watching on the sidelines...and then I saw that there was a Jedi padawan amongst the enemies they were attacking. 

I suppose I was still suppressing frustration from the duel, because I joined in without thinking or communicating. I could sense the utter frustration from the squad members, though I am not sure if they all noticed me. I realised instantly, and had to reduce my presence until I could slip away.

I have already written and sent an apology to the Corporal. Better I make these mistakes in relative safety, than bungle up a mission - or worse. I just hope he will be amenable to teaching me again in the future.

...

Now I have been summoned back to the Rhûine estate to "report on my progress" to my (former) betters. Ugh.

I'm sure that can only go well. 

At least I'll be able to have a proper shower, and retrieve my needles. Perhaps I can hide some teabags in that sewing kit as well.

Maybe I can even find a way to drink tea in the lower estates!

It's only illegal if I'm caught.