Zartilda's Journal (And Assorted Tales)

[Theprettiestorc]

Journal 3: Acolyte Days

So the underline's pretty nice, keeping that. Shouldn't type while my hands are Kolto'd but I should get my thoughts out. My father was a user of Dark Rage - he used to say it was like staring at the "Will of the Dark Side", and asking for just an iota of a blessing. Something he didn't want for me, but something I have an affinity for. Instead, he taught me that of my mother, Battle Precognition. Awakening a deeper aspect, my connection to the Force becoming as more potent instinct, trusting my senses to guide me.

For the first time, I saw what he must have when working at Sith Steel. And it was rude and burned the hell out of my hands. Hungry, all-consuming. Capitalizing on the tiniest mistake and failing me. One day, I'll get to quenching, and then it'll be angrier and I'll have to endure for longer. The amount of bleeding and burning for the art... it emboldens me to be better. Just need to adjust my goalposts as this became far more complicated than anyone else before Hazlem has described it.

There was something that seized me, though, back when I took Zoll's life. That dark part of me, like a sliver of that will, ready to drive me forward and consume me utterly while I watched. I'm deluding myself if I'm thinking it was something higher, but the potential made me afraid for a long time. Along with a broken mind, I went through the Kaas Academy still sorting myself out. Our minds had been linked - it was like I was trying to remember for both of us and forming a dissonance. In this time, I slowly fell in with a pair of girls, a cyborg and a Miraluka. The former with her own demons, the latter kind. She wasn't meant to be a Sith.

She put us to task, dragged us almost kicking and screaming, but it was that which saved us. And then, she was gone to somewhere else. My suspicions were correct, and she died in the end. All I could ever find out was that her heart failed her, word of "Failure" burned into the skin of her forehead.

I eventually came to House Horuset, and trained a while, kept to myself. When I emerged, it began a long career of questioning things or messing with Overseers and Purifiers, and getting slapped around for it. Or sitting on the whole Acolyte Alpha blade, training other Acolytes, and being a nuisance all around. I'm still a nuisance, but I'd like to think I'm better at it. Back then, we had the politics go into play just before our campaign to Dubrillion, of Sith Narazri versus Sith Arvanis for Lord.

I should stop while I'm healing. Bookending this or whatnot with the talk about Dubrillion.